I need.

a break, when I am broken
a little time, when I have ran out of it

and Adam Duritz, sings inside my head "if you wrap yourself in daffodils, I'll wrap myself in pain."

I miss Rain, I miss being embraced by her small arms, all innocence and curiousity. I am waiting for Saturday morning to see her smile again and I won't mind if the tears come, I miss her, and I guess, she'll ask and I know I'm just happy to see her again. I'll watch her sleep on our way to somewhere cold and somewhere far from the familiarity of the places I have lived in and far from the strangeness of the places I have been. All 13 kilos of her will be real on our way there, it'll be as real as gravity will permit and it'll take the weight off my thoughts even if for just the short time I will get to hold her. For a few hours I will get to embrace something part of me. I will also be whole again, even if just for the duration of a bus ride and she'll continue to sleep; and my emotions will wonder about a possibility, a probability and a necessity. Then I'll look outside the bus window and see only the actuality of distance; real and slowly being overcome by time.